Merry Christmakwanzuhka

Merry Christmas to everyone! I'm not even attempting to be politically correct because I love celebrating the day Jesus comes to deliver all sorts of presents to children who were born in a manger and met by 3 wise fat men in red suits who came down chimneys to see them...at least I think that's how it goes. The greatest Christmas present of all is the fact that my apartment has been dumped. I got the call at 4 o'clock on Christmas day, and it couldn't have been a more opportune time. I cracked a beer the second I got off the phone

This means I have officially cut the cord that has been binding me to the city, and I'll be able to start my job on January 2nd without any unfinished business, an excellent feeling to be sure. Christmas also brought other wonderful gifts such as a Tragically Hip box set, Chronicles of Narnia books and enough food to keep me at a plump 185 pounds...

I'll be heading back to Chicago for a few days to clear out the apartment, then back here for a few more days of R & R and hopefully a bit of skiing and then it's back to work. Looking forward to keep everyone posted on the new job, and hopefully some fun trips in the future (hopefully soon).

Merry Christmas and Happy New Years.....

Reading: Chronicles of Narnia: The Magician's Nephew (I feel like I'm 8 again, and I love it)
Listening to: Tragically Hip Box Set

World's Worst Salesman

Sorry about the long absence from posting. This week has been hectic with showing my apartment, putting ads in papers, trying to sell my furniture, etc. What it all boils down to is this, I still have an apartment that I don't need and furniture I need to get rid of. I get that people don't want to be moving during the wintertime, but you'd think an apartment would be the perfect gift for the person who has everything. Think about it; an apartment is so functional. You can put things in it, you can sleep in it, you can hang out in it, you can study/work in it, you can stay warm or keep cool in it depending on your preference, you can entertain people in it, you can drink/smoke in it...the possibilities are endless!! That being said, the apartment still hasn't sold, and time is starting to run out.

Thanfully, Pat is coming to visit tomorrow and we're going to head back home Wednesday for Christmas. I'm sure the next few days are going to be pretty fun, and who knows, maybe the apartment will sell itself in the meantime. I'm not sure what my plans will be once I get back to Windsor, I'm sure I'll have to come back to Chicago afterwards to bring some more things back, but I'm hoping that I won't have to shuttle myself back and forward too many times since I start my new job on January 2nd.

National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation is on tonight...can't wait! Everytime Catherine turns on the microwave I piss myself and forget who I am for a half hour...Classic!

Reading: "Cannery Row" by John Steinbeck
Listening to: "Do You Want To" by Franz Ferdinand

12 Bars of Christmas (Abridged Version)

There was a trend last night in Chicago, and that trend was pub crawls. I think I've indentified at least 5 different pub crawls that occured last night, all calling themselves "The 12 Bars of Christmas". That may be the reason for the inordinate amount of "Walks of Shame" that I saw this morning when I went to get a coffee.

Anyways, I made it out for one of these pub crawls (don't ask me which one) but I was a bit late getting going since I got a last minute phone call from my friend James telling me which one we were going on. This year would truely be a "crawl" for me since the day before I stubbed my baby toe on my coffee table, and it may be in fact broken (very purple and facing the wrong direction. The toe is actually facing sideways). But I figured the best cure for that problem would be inexpensive drinks, and headed on out

The premise is very simple, 12 bars in one night. The only drawback I found was that you had to keep moving so fast to get to them all in one night. Every half hour we were at a new bar, and if you were straggling at one you probably missed the next....I guess that's why some of these pub crawls started at 11 a.m.

Bar #1 (for me at least) was Finley Dunnes. It seemed like a good pub, typical of most of the bars in Chicago, more about sitting down, having a pint and making friends. Most of the places on the pub crawl were smaller, but that made it pretty cool for meeting people. The best part of this bar might have been the Harlem Globetrotters game on TV. Now that I'm not a little kid I've realized that the other team fakes being fooled by the Globetrotters tricks, including one big white guy pretending he didn't know there was a basketball up his shirt....Oh Globetrotters!


Bar#2 was the Waterhouse. I actually walked by this place on my way to the first bar, and was pretty scared by it. It looked so dark and they were playing Dance Mix '97 type music outside. Really trippy (maybe that's why it can't be photographed properly???). When we got there it was better than I gave it credit for. Still dark, but cool atmosphere, and a pretty sweet interior with mini waterfalls behind the bar. James thought it looked like a goth hangout...


Bar#3 was Tavern 33, my favourite of the night. The bartender at this place looked like Don Johnson from Miami Vice in jeans and sportcoat. He had also overserved himself!! Watching him trying to add up the cost of drinks in his head and then stuttering it back out was awesome. This was also where we met the first random , Marquis, who threw himself into pictures and was taking pictures of all the ladies (James' girlfriend Lisa in particular).....Way to go Marquis, I hope you picked up


Bar#4 was Fizz. We had the downstairs to ourselves and it seemed like a cool bar, especially since they were showing English Premier League soccer on TV. James and I decided to check out the upstairs. At the top of the stairs there was a guy collecting tickets andbehind him was a room of only guys, mostly wearing cowboy hats....It may or may not have been a gay cowboy party, but it certainly had all the symptoms.


Bar #5 we missed because it was far, and I am gimpy...so we decided to head to the 6th and final bar of our shortened version of 12 Bars. On the way I saw this sign for Old Style. It's a beer brewed in Chicago. One time I talked to my Dad about trying it, and he referred to it as "Panther Piss". I still haven't tried it


Bar# 6 was the Skylight. It was the worst pick for a final bar ever. They were showing some movie that they made at the bar itself. Basically it was three guys we didn't know, talking about other people we didn't know, and eating weird things....That's about all I got out of it. Also, it was like a smaller version of the Loop (Windsor bar) which scares me everytime I go there.

All in all it was a good night. Cheap drinks made me forget my toe which is even more purple now after walking on it all night.

Listening to - "Dynamite Walls" by Hayden
Reading - "Island" by Alistair MacLeod

My PJ's, a guitar, a box of holiday cookies, and Judge Judy

I finally got to work again today. I'm currently on Flex Staff until I move, which means I could be anywhere at anytime. Basically the Rehab Institute is my pimp, hooking me up with needy clinics and departments all over. After the past few days I spent at home, it might be a good thing though. I do enjoy days off, but I realized that during school when you take a day off, there's usually other people around, or you have a plan in mind. I woke up Monday morning and realized I had neither of these. Everyone else was working, and my only friend was Al Roker, who told me to stay inside because it was minus 9000 degrees Farenheit. So stay inside I did, pulling out a box of Christmas cookies and watching how Martha made decorative scarves as gifts (which you will all be receiving this year). I pulled out the guitar and tried to do a little more playing, but that only occupied so much time, and I automatically would drift back to the TV, and some other horrible show.

I also realized that when I don't work, I don't shave...and I definitely think I was showing some signs of a beards, but mostly that gross neck hair that I think Jo liked to call the "neard". So all in all, work is a good thing if only because I groom myself and don't sit around drinking Starbucks and watching Judge Judy prosecute yet another guy whose only crime seems to be that he is male.

The past few days have been cold, but I think Kingston has totally desensitized me from winter. Nothing could top my past three winters there, and I thought that living in Chicago, with all the wind and snow would do it...but I didn't even blink (except well all that annoying little snow gets into your eyes. You know, the kind that just falls and doesn't stick but does manage to piss the hell out of you before it disappears).

Anyways, I'm hoping to get rid of the apartment this weekend and hopefully start moving out soon. I'm excited to get back in time for Christmas and Freeman Family Board Games...hopefully Scattergories

Music Soothes the Savage Beast

In honour of a patient making me a CD entitled "Jazz & Latin Workout Mix" I've decided to make a list of some of the CD's I've been listening to obssesively since I've been in Chicago. The Jazz & Latin Workout Mix just missed the cut...but it's damn good! There may even be some Ron Burgandy on "yazz flute". Also, I've changed the comments section so anyone can leave a message. Let me know what you guys are listening to, cause I'm always looking for new music.


1) Bloc Party - Silent Alarm
All the songs on this CD have a good beat to them, a tempo that speeds up and slows down from song to song, excellent instrument play and British accents I'm not sure if I understand or not. Mostly I like this CD because the lead singer reminds me of Derek Zoolander when he disguises himself as the black janitor....but honestly, good album


2) Fall Out Boy - Take This To Your Grave
Fall Out Boy - From Under The Cork Tree
Seeing as these guys are from Chicago, I've got to represent them to the fullest. While I like the first album more, they're both great. The first is more punk, while the second is more pop-punk. Kinda like Coke vs. Diet Coke. But Pete Wentz writes the best and most original lyrics. Take for example these lines from "Tell That Mick He Just Made My List of Things To Do Today": Breaking hearts has never looked so cool/As when you wrap your car around a tree/Your makeup looks great next to his teeth/ Let's play this game called when you catch fire?I wouldn't piss to put you out
Ridiculous!!


3) John Mayer Trio - Try!
This is brand new live stuff from JM and finally he gets to play what he likes instead of stuff for all the tennage girls. This album is very bluesy, and he's backed up by a former drummer from the Rolling Stones, and a former bassist from The Who.


4) The Jimmy Swift Band - Onward Through The Fog
This is an old one that reminds me of Kingston and also my trip out east. The one thing about living in Chicago (or Windsor for that matter) is that I don't get to see their live show, which is one of the best I've ever seen. They're a great jam band with an awesome sound, and a 6 string bass! Marc, you need to see these guys at Smooth Herman's soon.


5) Kanye West - Late Registration
Although I like his first album better, anyone who samples "Diamonds are Forever" from James Bond and then proceeds to rap about Sierra Leone and conflict diamonds. Genius!


6) Wilco - Yankee Hotel Foxtrot
They're also from Chicago, and this CD is perfect for mellowing out


7) The Essential Bob Dylan (2 CD)
I'm sure that new Bob Dylan compilation in just as good, but I already own this one. And who needs to discuss Bob Dylan. He's a master

Just a thought...

When Ebert and Roeper give a movie two "big" thumbs up, do their thumbs physically get bigger?....And if so, does this make it tougher to eat popcorn?

I bet Ebert's thumb does...

Month Long Vacation

Yesterday was my last day of work at RIC. It was kind of bittersweet. I like everyone there but have gotten so frustrated about the whole job process that I also couldn't wait to leave. I celebrated by drinking, as most memorable occasion should be celebrated. The more I thought about it, the more I realized it might not be good to drink at memorable occasions, because as drinks go down, things become distinctly less memorable. I had some interest in my apartment last night so I was taking pictures and e-mailing them before I went out. Looking at the pictures this morning I realized that there are some definite signs that I had been pre-drinking, since some of the pictures were a wee bit blurry.

I hung out with my friend Linsday last night and some of her friends. A few of them have been in Arizona for the past few winters, so when the temperature outside flashes 20 F, they lose their minds. I also met up with Rachel and her boyfriend Sean. I haven't seen Rachel in a while since I've been in Chicago, and Sean and I haven't hung out since HK days, so it was good times

Tonight the festivities are continuing with another free all-you-can drink party from 6:30-8:30....I think when I eventually get back to Windsor I may start going through withdrawl during that time of day. I'll call it "Dinnertime Drinkless Doug". He'll shake at the dinner table, show diminished hand eye coordination, and generally snap at everyone and everything. Be prepared Windsor

I'm sure everyone is getting into the Christmas spirit, but if anyone is starting to feel a bit of a Festivus mood coming on (I know I am) check out this site. You can even order your own Festivus Pole!

http://thefestivuspole.com/blog.htm

Rudolph The Sexist Comedy Gold Reindeer

Ahhh Rudolph. It really isn't Christmas until I see the classic stop-motion, claymation style Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. I think, that of all the Christmas specials it is by far the funniest and most innapropriate of all.

First of all, not only is Rudolph's nose red, a clear sign that he is a drunk, it also inexplicably makes some sort of loud morse code type sound whenever it lights up. This must have made it so easy to exclude Rudolph from reindeer games such as "Hide & Go Seek" or "Capture the Flag" since the others would have heard him from a mile away sending his nasal S.O.S. Even when he did try to turn it black, it sounded like he always had a cold.

Secondly, there is Hermie, the elf who wants to be a dentist. There is nothing funnier than an elf who wants to be a dentist (and I have no idea why). It is no wonder that people are scared of dentists when we see Hermie pull all of the Abominable Snowmans teeth out with PLIERS!!!

I could go on and on talking about how Santa is cold and heartless and how the Snowman reminds me of Mr. Fuji from the old WWF, but my favourite part of Rudolph is the blatant sexism. You have to keep in mind that this movie was made 40 years ago. The movie teaches us that back then, Rudolph's dad would go look for Rudolph while his wife stayed back in the cave because it was "man's work". Later on, while mourning the death of their Abominable Snowman friend, the narrator tells them not to mourn too long, because the important thing it to "get the women back to Christmas Town". The best part of it all is that we are so nostalgic about Rudolph I don't think most people even notice. This is how the creators of Rudolph have keep it on the cutting edge without ever changing the story