Feeling Unawesome

Returning to work after Homecoming has been tough, especially since I seem to be coming down with the cold from hell. I'm sure the copious amounts of alcohol and pure garbage fast food had nothing to do with it at all. Anyways, since I'm feeling less than up to par I'm going to keep this very short and talk about Homecoming in my next post (complete with pictures and videos).

But I do have to make a few apologies for the weekend
1) I apologize to my liver, for obvious reasons.
2) I apologize to my stomach, on behalf of my taste buds. I swear the KFC didn't taste like it ended up making you feel.
3) I apologize to the cleaning lady at the Comfort Inn, because the smell of that room should force you into early retirement.
4) I apolgize to the staff of the Holiday Inn for the vomit behind your hotel...I don't know who left it there...seriously
5) I apologize to Andrew Mills, because that cell phone bill is going to suck
6) I apologize to the attractive girl whose toast was thrown out by AJ at the continental breakfast...but then again that was hilarious

It was good to see everyone this weekend, and good to hear that people read this thing and really seem to enjoy it. It's always nice to hear thatyou guys are keeping up with it, and it keeps me writing.

I'll get back to the Homecoming stories and pictures ASAP...to those of you from Kingston, you will appreciate them all.

Listening to - "Cheating on You" by Franz Ferdinand
Reading - "If Nobody Speaks of Remarkable Things" by Jon McGregor

Serious note

Those of you in Canada have undoubtedly heard of the shooting at the college in Montreal. It frustrates me to no end to think that people in our world can be so cold and have the audacity to walk into a crowded room of people and simply fire a gun. A young girl lost her life yesterday at the hands of someone she had never met, and someone whose life she had no effect on. And I think that's what makes me so angry. When a single individual can kill another, destroying their life and the lives of everyone associated with them, when the person who has died had no impact whatsoever on the killer. While this is a reaction to yesterday's actions, it certainly applies to many situation worldwide, and it is the reason that so many people live their lives in fear. Thinking back on all the good times I've spent at school hanging out with friends I can't imagine a scene like that happening, and yet yesterdays events serve as a rude awakening that sometimes there is no rhyme and reason. I hate that this is taking such a serious tone, but writing things down helps me vent, and I guess anyone who chooses to read this is on the receiving end....To those of you from Montreal I hope that you and anyone you might be aquainted with was not affected by this tragedy, and it is my sincere hope that events such as these will continue to open our eyes and bring about a necessary change in our society and the way we treat each other

It's no DeLorean...but it'll do

So I promised pictures of my new car (technically my first car) sometime ago and I never really delivered on it. This happened for two reasons. Reason the first: Windsor all of a sudden became Vancouver and decided to rain pretty much all the time (or for Andrew Mills...it was like a prune juice factory, 3 days on, 2 days off). The second reason was that they upgraded my car with a feature which I wasn't aware I paid for. It's a "Fecal Matter Magnet" which when turned on allows all birds to find the car and take large dumps on it while I toil the day away at work. The problem with this feature is that it is ALWAYS ON!!! So...enjoy the pictures of the car, I took them in a 2 second window when a bird wasn't crapping all over it



























































And my mom's favourite part, the lighted makeup mirror...she'd buy a car on this feature alone...and maybe I did too

Ding Dong The Hip Hop Clown...update!

For all the hardcore readers of my blog, you may remember when I was working in Chicago that I had seen a car with an ad along the side for "Ding Dong The Hip Hop Clown". I'm pretty sure that most of you thought I was joking, and said to yourselves "If I know Doug like I think I do, that sounds like the exact sort of thing Doug would make up...". You would be right. I would have made that up, but not this time. I finally have come across undeniable, airtight proof of the existence of the world's most famous Hip Hop Clown.

Here it is, doubt no more:
http://chicagohiphopclown.com/index.html

The first thing you should all notice is that Ding Dong can be booked for a variety of event...even telegrams!!! Can you imagine this guy showing up on your doorstep on your birthday with some balloons, a giant clock chain around his neck and a turntable to spin "Happy Birthday". Secondly, I'm dying to see "Ding Dong's Water Gravity Game".

Anyways, enjoy the site...it may be funny for no one but myself, but that's cool with me

Listening to - "Double Trouble" by The Roots and Mos Def (in honour of all things hip hop)

Recognition...and other updates

So I've taken to reading a blog by the name of TrippingOnWords...it's by two girls named Lara and Claire who are travel writers and basically write about the amazing adventures they are having. In addition to the coolness of this job, one of their father's (which makes it sound like they have many collectively) wrote Game of Shadows, the Barry Bonds/BALCO/steroid book...which I love, simply for my hate of Bonds......Anywhoo, they gave me a shout out on their blog which has become a pretty ridiculously popular blog...so check it out if you get the chance, or if you're interested in travel (www.trippingonwords.blogspot.com). If anything, you can check out a picture of a penguin hitting another one into the water, which I think we can all admit is something we all long to see happen in real life.

Next weekend I'll be heading up to Kingston for Homecoming Weekend 2006. It will be a meeting of forever roomates and various other friends who probably should not be left alone in the same room for fear of something breaking/getting stolen/being painted/spilled on. That's why, in our infinite wisdom I have booked one room for 8 people. I cannot think of a single conceivable way that 7 of the loudest guys I've ever met and myself could pull this off...so I'm sure I'll have a story or two to share. The continental breakfast should be interesting..stealth mode it is.

Also, I booked my first hostel in New Zealand, it's called the Fat Camel. Just thought you should know

Reading - "Don Quixote" by Cervantes
Listening to - "All These Things That I've Done" by The Killers

One Fine Saturday Afternoon...a narrative (Part 2)

Our heroes packed in the beers and packed up the food in anticipation for the game which about to begin shortly. Looking back on the film, the other three team members should have been concerned of Patrick, as he was begining to show the "squinty eyed-ness" of a young drunkard.















None of this seemed important at the group headed for the large "M" in the sky, following it as if it were the North Star and they were lost on a seal hunt in Iqualiut, Nunavut. (My apologies to all seals, but I liked the analogy). As our heroes approched the gates, Patrick made a startlingly discovery...he was about to be sick...all over Monica, and then into a flower bed inside the staidum. Scholars maintain that this may have been caused by what is loosely termed as "drinking too much", but Pat will continue to spout propoganda of drinking water too fast.














(M in The Sky....wasn't that a Journey song?)























(Monica, looking happy before being puked on. In her defence, she was happy after, it just made for a funnier first Michigan game)

















(A re-enactment)


Inside, the band was about to play, and this was clearly one of Monica's favourite parts of the game since her phone already plays the fight song everytime it rings. You will also notice that the band pictures are much improved compared to previous photos. This is because Doug cannot rival Monica in photo taking capabilities, which is why he typically gives her his camera with instructions to "go nuts"















(The band plays Hail to The Victors and form some sort of letter which probably looks really cool from up above, but maybe not from this angle)

















(The student section, wearing lots of maize...or mais as the Natives called it)



















(Players running out on the field...the greatest part)

















And so as the clock ticked down to zero and our weary travellers exited the stadium they felt a sense of joy that one can only glean from a U of M victory. There still remained an emptiness inside, but that would soon be filled with jumbalaya and a nap after the ride home.....Here's to the Saturdays.

One Fine Saturday Afternoon...a narrative

It was a dark and chilly morning as four weary souls awoke to make the trek to the Sacred Grounds of the University of Michigan for a football game, but not just any football game, the season opener. Some thought of food, others drink, and still others thought of the game itself; but all thought of the glory that would find them on their adventure.

The van took off at 7am for a noon game and made its way up I-94. Along the way, the van made an important stop at a store by the name of "Sheena's Supermarket". The lights in the store had not even fully turned on before our heroes made their way to the back of the store and found the cases of watered down American beer which they so desired (also, the first song playing over the speakers was "Lean Back", which seemed pretty classic to all). Pat, the youngest of our characters decided to ask an employee where their "liquor" aisle was, as vodka was necessary for that morning's beverages (Wolverines - grapefruit juice and vodka). None was to be found. Solving this dilema was a Meijer's further down the road, easily the greatest store in all of the United States (case in point, the booze aisle was right next to the aisle where you could buy pet fish).

The travellers arrived at the University to find that their beloved golf course parking lot was closed for the day...Making their way across 3 lanes of traffic in a span of about 10 feet and cutting off a long line of people waiting to park, Pat made his way into the high school field across the street, and into Michigan Parking Lore forever. Equipment was set up, and the festivities began














(Pat and Steve prepare the eats)

For those of you who have never tailgatged, it is an art, and one to be take seriously. Our heroes marveled and some of the lengths that their neighbours went to in order to make the day as comfortable as possible, and also at the variety of games being played prior to the game. Back at the van, Steve and Doug were dominating at Holy Boards, perhaps one of the greatest games known to man. Using their uncanny height and reaching ability, these behemoths went on an undefeated tear and were easily the Grand Tailgate Games Champions...(they would also be asked later by people from Nashville if they played basketball, and if they could please keep an eye on what was going on in the bathroom line as they could easily see over the crowd to the front)














(Our tailgate neighbours...genius)
















(Cornhole...a game involving bean bags, and apparently wearing the coolest pants ever)
















(Monica showing her excellent Holy Boards tossing ability)

















(Sea of Tailgating)

TO BE COTINUED....WHEN I GET THE ENERGY TO FINISH TYPING